The Church Needs Men
I have been studying the roles of men and women, the differences of men and women, and more and more I am convinced that the church has failed miserably in shepherding men to be true, godly men.
In the world, men now play video games for hours each week well into their thirties and beyond. Of course, it is easy to pick on this generation, but perhaps we would do well to examine previous generations. Many just previous to my generation spent their time working on cars, not to keep them running for the family, but as toys for them to play with. Somehow we have claimed that this is manly work, when in actuality it is just boys playing with toys for their own self-satisfaction…not really any different than video games. Or what about watching sports? Spending hours a week engulfed in football, basketball, baseball games. Is sitting on the couch getting excited or irritated with your favorite team truly a manly activity? What about hunting and fishing? Somehow we have made killing things and catching things what manliness is all about, when the reality is that it is just men playing in the woods or on the water doing what they love to do. Is this the definition of manliness? Not in my book, and not in God’s eyes either.
If some of what I wrote above offends you, then toughen up, stop being so soft and act like a man. I never said men cannot do any of these things, but here is the deal…this worldly vision of what a man is has infiltrated the church, and it has taken over the Biblical idea of manhood. Let me tell you the truth, for the Christian, for the church, there is only one true definition of what it is to be a man, and it is found in the Word of God, not in the world’s system.
A man loves the Lord. Loves Him with all his mind, with all his soul, with all his strength, and with all his heart. Out of that love for the Lord, a man then loves the Word of the Lord. A man spends time in the Word regularly because a man wants to know God and know Him well. A man recognizes that one day he is going to stand before God and give an answer for what he did with the gift of masculinity God gave to him. He does not want to stand in that judgment before Jesus Christ and lose reward, rather he desires to stand there like a man, as one who has done his duty, as a faithful soldier who has nothing to be ashamed of.
The only way he can do that is by learning the Word, spending time in the Word, getting to know what is required of him to be found faithful. A man loves the Lord and a man loves His Word.
As he studies the Word, a man realizes his duty is to be holy, blameless, to live a life that is separated from the world, not of the world. A man realizes the world around him is temporal, it is passing away, and he wants to invest in something more worthwhile than that. He realizes that he can store up treasures in a place where there are no thieves, where his treasure is secure, and he chooses to invest there. Because of this, a man looks at what sin is in his life, and he roots it out, whatever the cost. He knows he cannot be the man he needs to be if he remains in sin. It is costly, but a man has no fear of the cost, he is willing to endure the pain, it is worth it, this is what men do, after all. He roots out sin and anything that brings sin into his life.
This man is a man on a mission, a man who is determined to no longer allow the world’s system to deceive him. As he roots out sin, he realizes how weak he is. He works and works but finds out he can be a failure as often as a victor. As he realizes his weaknesses, as he realizes he is not strong enough, he looks for help, he looks for the grace God gives him to help him. This man finds it, he finds it in the Word of God, he finds it in prayer, he finds it in the fellowship of the local church, and he finds it in other men who desire to move the same direction. This man, knowing his weak flesh, takes advantage of every grace that he can find that is provided to him from the hand of the Lord. As he does, he sees more change, but that change does not make him rely on himself, rather it helps him realize that on his own he is weak but depending on God’s provision of grace is his only hope.
This man, as he depends on those graces, realizes that he must be a man who not only hates his sin, but who hates his own life. Not in the sense of suicidal tendencies, but in the sense that everyone else comes before him. This man’s wife now becomes more important than his life, so he lays down his life for her. He realizes he needs to protect her, but not in a manipulative, commanding way, but in a self-sacrificing way. He protects her from hurt, and yes, that means physical hurt. He knows he must be willing to take a bullet for her if need be, to step in the way of anyone who desires to hurt her, even if it means loss to himself, loss of relationship with others, he will do it because what happens to him is immaterial, he loves his wife. He realizes that this protection goes beyond physical, however, and he finds out that when she sins against him, he agrees quickly to forgive rather than lash out at her because his instinct to protect her means he will take the hurt rather than hurt her back in anger. This man lays down his life, physically and spiritually and emotionally and mentally, for the one whom God has given to him as a wife.
This man, as he depends on these graces of God, realizes that he must not only love his wife for her sake, but also for their children’s sake. He knows his sons are looking to him and learning how they should treat their wives one day, and he knows his daughters are looking to him to see what kind of man they should marry someday. He is aware of this, and he allows this to motivate him to even more self-sacrifice.
He also realizes that he has a duty to his children as well. He must teach his boys what it is to be a man and love his girls in a way that they are not seeking love from any other man. These children are gifts from God to this man, and his desire is to make disciples, first in the home. He does not shirk this duty, rather he takes it seriously. He knows his time is limited before they leave the home, and he knows his time is limited by other duties he must fulfill, so he redeems the time well. This man is willing to give up hobbies, games, entertainment, in order to invest in his kids. He knows those things can be used well to teach his kids, but they are not priorities for him to serve himself but to serve his family.
This man realizes, as he spends time with the church and men there, that he also has an obligation to his church. He needs the church as the grace of God, but he knows the Lord has gifted him specifically to play a role in the church also, to be God’s grace to others. This man finds ways to serve, and he is not above serving in kids’ ministry or in the kitchen or plunging toilets, he just becomes a servant at the church. When there is a need and he has the gifts to meet the need, he shows up, he volunteers his time. This man has sorted through these priorities he has, and has recognized that he is of no use to this church if he is not a Biblical husband and father in the home, so he refuses to set aside his family for the service he dedicates to the church, rather, he simply begins to realize that the time for hobbies, the time for toys and games, the time for movies and sports, that time is what he can set aside in order to serve.
This man, as he is growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord, as he is being conformed into the image of Jesus, as he is forsaking sin and living this holy and blameless life, finds people on occasion he speaks to who ask him questions. They ask what kinds of hobbies he has, what sports he enjoys, and this man realizes these are opportunities to speak to what is truly important to him. He begins to open up with others about his faith, about his priorities, about his transformed life, and why he goes around with hope, even though the world seems to be falling apart. Every difficulty in this man’s life becomes an opportunity to share the gospel with someone new, whether at work, whether at home or with extended family, or whether just meeting people throughout his life. This man truly begins to see that he is here to be salt and light in the world, and his transformed life is making him salt and light. The conversations for the gospel become easier, and he becomes bolder as his faith increases.
These are the types of men the church needs. I know this is long, I know very few men will take the time to read because they want to be boys. But men, if this is what you want, if this is the life you want to sign up for, if following Jesus with all your life, and loving the Lord with all your mind, soul, strength and heart is your desire, I’m here for you. My life has not exemplified this throughout, but I am determined that it will going forward, and we need more men on this journey in the church.
Who is with me, men? Who will go with me? Who will fight with me?
