Can I Attend A Homosexual/"Transgender" “Wedding” Ceremony?

A couple of weeks ago, a firestorm erupted when it came out that in September of 2023, Alistair Begg shared some counsel he gave to a grandmother regarding her grandchild getting “married” to a “transgender” person. His counsel to this grandmother was that, as long as she made it explicitly clear to her grandchild that this is something she does not approve of, that she should go and bring a gift, hoping that the “love” she demonstrates by doing so will catch her grandchild off guard, and also not confirm to her grandchild that she is judgmental. This past Sunday, after his remarks received a lot of criticism, Begg preached a sermon where he double-downed on his position, and staked the claim that much of the opposition to his comments were from pharisaical people who desire to condemn rather than have compassion. Well, I was one who wrote to Begg through the Basic Conference email asking for them to refund my money if he does not wish to repent. I am thankful that they refunded my money, and sorrowful that he clearly has no desire to repent.

You may have noticed above, and even in the title, that I used a lot of quotation marks around words, and here is why. What is being described here is not a wedding, nor will it result in a marriage. There is no such thing as a transgender as gender is fixed for life, and going to celebrate a sinful activity is not a demonstration of real love. The entire problem revolves around a failure to hold fast to what is true, and when we lose the language and the proper framing of issues, we will almost always get it wrong when it comes to how we will respond in those issues. Make no mistake, Begg is absolutely wrong in his advice, terribly wrong, dangerously wrong. Having said that, I do not want this blog to be about how we respond to Begg, but rather making the case clearly why the advice he gave was sinful advice.

First, we need to remember that God, a God alone, defines gender and marriage. He made us all male or female and fixed that gender at our birth (Genesis 1:27). He defines marriage as one woman with one man for life (Genesis 2:24). Beloved, God, in no uncertain terms, has made His definitions clear, and no man or woman has any right to even hint at changing or affirming any change in His definitions. To claim to change a gender, or to claim to be married when it fails to meet God’s standard, is to be in rebellion against God and His declared Word. It is to ask the question, “Is this what God really said?” It is to issue a challenge to God for His authority and right. It is, at its core, idolatry of man and self.

Therefore, when two people, whether related to you or not, choose to celebrate together a joining together of something that is not marriage but call it marriage, they are celebrating an abomination before God. What happens in these celebrations is a celebration of wickedness, a celebration of the hatred for God and His decrees. It is akin to the pagan worship of gods and goddesses in the Greek and Roman days when there would be drunkenness and lewdness practiced at feasts. Oh, there may not be the in your face lewdness, the open flaunting of sexual sin, but it is the open flaunting of the sin of pride and rebellion against God. Because of this, there is no valid reason for a Christian to attend one of these celebrations.

Are we as Christians not to represent God here on earth, so if God would find these activities disdainful, then why would His children find them acceptable?

Begg hopes it keeps the wicked from thinking we are judgmental against them, but are we failing to understand that while they practice such things they bring forth the further judgment of God? Are we as Christians not to represent God here on earth, so if God would find these activities disdainful, then why would His children find them acceptable? If this woman’s granddaughter were having an abortion, murdering her great-grandchild, would she go to a celebration of that murder, just so long as her granddaughter knows she does not approve? What about if her grandchild were having what is called gender reassignment surgery, would she buy her a gift to celebrate her “transition”? The ceremony is nothing but a shaking of the fist toward heaven by those participating in it, and the Christian must have nothing to do with these unfruitful works of darkness.

Begg, and many others, insist that this is communicating love for these people, and that love might just win them to the gospel. Once again, the framing here is so wrong it is sorrowful. God is love, and God says that this is an abomination to Him. To think that we can communicate something different is to think that we know better how to love than God Himself does. What the people who commit sins like this are looking for is not love, it is affirmation, and those two are very different. God never affirms anyone in their sinful activity, and neither should we, yet God still expresses His love to sinners (Romans 5:8). If you tell these people of the greatest act of love in all of eternity, God sending forth His Son for sin like they are committing, they will refuse to acknowledge that it is love. Instead, they will insist that God should affirm them and their sinful choices, and that is exactly what they want from grandmother.

It would seem Begg, in his thinking that we need to make the wicked love us to win them, has failed to think through all of Scripture on the matter. The words of Jesus should be helpful. “Do not think that I cam to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I cam to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it” (Matthew 10:34-39, Legacy Standard Bible).

All of life seems to come down to this for the Christian, and I know this, Jesus will keep His Word, and it will be worth whatever we endure for His sake.

I cannot imagine how difficult it would be to know that if I chose not to attend a ceremony that my grandchild believes is the biggest event in their life, that it will cost me that relationship. It is heartbreaking for me to even consider, and I do not even have any grandchildren yet to put a face to. Having said that, dear Christian, remember these words of Jesus as well, “And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or farms for My name’s sake, will receive one hundred times as much, and will inherit eternal life” (Matthew 19:29). Do we trust the One who gave His life for us, that our sorrow and hurt will be worth it all? This is ultimately what these issues come down to, simply trusting God’s Word, that He knows better than we do, that we are so dependent on Him to teach us and guide us through His Word. All of life seems to come down to this for the Christian, and I know this, Jesus will keep His Word, and it will be worth whatever we endure for His sake.